Toilet Roll Dispensers – Just Not Good Enough
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After coming across the revolting 2 Girls One Cup Video on the internet the other day, it is somewhat appropriate that I am writing about the subject of toilets – or, more to the point, public lavatory toilet roll dispensers.
There are two types of toilet dispenser. First you’ve got the Kimberley Clark cuboid type deal, with the small vertical window, where you can see how many separate sheets of tissue paper are in there. These are the ones where the paper comes out in some kind of ornate interweaved style – these are pretty damn good – easy to use, no effort required.

But secondly, you’ve got el classico – the “original” dispenser – those massive circular type deals. They are probably the worst invention in the world, as the size of the loo roll inside is about the same diameter of a car tyre.
Although the amount of tissue on there is enough to wrap a frigging Egyptian Mummy, that is not the main reason for my concern. What really angers me is those things are so bloody heavy to move. I can literally pull on the dangling sheet with about as much downward force as a maple leaf before it goes and tears off only only sheet at a time.
When you’re in the uncomfortable sitation of being in a public toilet in the first place, the last thing you want to have to do (and goodness we’ve all done it), is to have to feed your hand up through the hole of the metal contraption in order to spin the frigging big wheel round five times in order to be able to get your hands on a decent length of toilet roll from the bottom.
Sometimes, just sometimes, the club and pubs even make it harder by getting these industrial size loo rolls that are so damn big they even TOUCH the inside of the metal holder, which means that performing the standard cleanliness ritual takes about three hours, by which time the club is closing.
Mix this with the fact that you also sometimes have to put one foot up against the door to keep drunken intruders out, sometimes I just really wish I had the foresight to simply “go before I came out”.
Torture.
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This article was written by Sam Davis on February 4, 2009.
Computing over a glass of Grenache Shiraz... again! Sam is the Editor of Blasted Thing. Contact Us |
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