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Tim Vine Jokes - Even More, by Popular Demand…

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I’ve started to realise that a lot of people are finding my website by typing in “Tim Vine jokes” or “Tim Vine one-liners” - well, I provided a load of Tim Vine’s new material on a recent blog post - but, due to popular demand, I’m going to provide a few more of these new jokes on this here page.

Very briefly, on another note I often speak to the people at Fire Radio, and I texted in a joke - not for the first time.  At first they thought my jokes were funny, but now they realise they are crap - so if any of you read this, at least you know that I am not the perpertrator of this comedic wit, and it is indeed the one-line legend that is Mr Tim Vine.

What do you call a lady with big teeth that sleeps in the afternoon?  Siesta Rantzen.

Albinos - you can’t say fairer than that!

(Holding up a notice which says “Future Events”)  Tim Vine: “Well, there’s a sign of things to come!”

My mate bet with me that I’d never eat at a barbecque with Matthew Corbett - I said, that’s a Sweep-Stake!

I’ve got a friend who has got a butler whose left arm is missing - serves him right.

I was in the army once and the Sergeant said to me: “What does surrender mean?” I said: “I give up!”

One of my squaddies in my army came up to my bunk bed the other day and had a hairdryer against my duvet, I said: “Don’t blow my cover”

I was looking for the directions for Radio 1 in London, and a guy pointed me in the direction of the building. I said: “That’s not a building, thats a cloud!” He said: “Down a bit…”

I have spent the afternoon re-arranging the furniture in Draculas house… I was doing a bit of Fang-Shui

I want to tell you a bit about myself.. I’m a very quiet and secretive person, and that’s it really.

Please note, I will be adding a new joke from his new DVD on a daily basis.

Now there’s an incentive to back isn’t there!  To Bookmark this blog post, just press CTRL and D.

This list was last updated on 19th November 2008. More tomorrow :)

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about the author

    This article was written by Sam Davis on November 19, 2008.
    Computing over a glass of Grenache Shiraz... again!
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One Response to “Tim Vine Jokes - Even More, by Popular Demand…”

  1. Tim Vine jokes - the king of one liners on November 19th, 2008

    [...] Press: A new Tim Vine blog post has been written since this article was [...]

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